Close your eyes and roll your neck. To the left. Down now, chin to chest. To the right. Now back around. Breathe in a deep cleansing breath and push it out with whatever you have to give.
The colors and down deeps of people continue to show ugliness. I am tired of it. Exhausted. FED UP. I guess it's a saving grace I work too much, or have homework to hide behind.
Life otherwise is goddamn awesome. Nosaracasm either. I work .. a lot. I study and go to class .. a lot. I try my best to make time for me and to go out-just so I keep some kind of balance. I do my best to be a good friend, and I continue to make ties and build on foundations already established. In the process, I've discovered more about myself, and the concept of time. There's not enough, there's too much, countdowns and alarm clocks. Last night while I was walking.. I stopped and sat down. Just sat right where I stood, in the freezing cold. I wanted to make the world stop and this was the first time I could just freeze. and drop. Of course I had a bench drug over..a little more comfortable but it was nice to just be and let the world go by.
There are only a few instances now where I feel totally at peace and ok. Normally a presence shouldn't do that, but apparently it does. The future looks nice..especially when you're looking at it together.
time to write papers.. my tickets to move on.
07 April 2011
04 April 2011
Hello Kitty meet Finding Nemo.
Le *Sighhhhh*. Mmm snuggly up at 641am on Monday morning. Normally I would have a cup of coffee in my hand while sitting to watch the sunrise before clinical.. but I'm pretty sure I maxed out this weekend, (At least for a few days) and it's cloudy. This is the unwind, the relaxing period. This phase is almost like a detox, and it's never really pretty. Just breathing and music is the usual treatment. I have to promise myself, write it in blood and stone never to be so stupid and stretch my body like that again. Limit? Hi how are you. It's about time we finally met.
The Last Five Years - a beautiful reality, and my soundtrack of choice for studying. It has served me well the past two years. The song up top has really precious lines in it, and this is the pivitol point in the show - the middle. Where his story meets hers. It's the hold your breath moment where from here, it unwinds and ends.
I said yes.
Then I said no.
And I didn't die.
I didn't spontaneously combust.
I continue to breathe.
I started to cry
Then I caught the tears.
It was my heart who reminisced.
Shook it away.
Lifted my chin a little higher-
screwed my head on a little tighter.
I continue to walk.
Keeping calm. Walking on, and on.
Rear view mirror is only for reference;
to see how far I've walked
to count the steps and breaths.
In. Out. On and On.
HappyMonday
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