Friday Five.
1. tomorrow is dinner dance, and needless to say that despite the fact that i am not in high school, my trend when dealing with dance excitement has not left my side. Im apathetic really. I just dont care, and i dont wanna go with my date kinda.. and yes it is my boyfriend. I know that once i get there though, itll be a good time, with him and my friends. I just hope I look ok.
2. Appearances. I have finally seen the numbers 120.0 on the scale. Ill wait for the applause to cease. I am thrilled, and proud of myself. I havnt seen those numbers since about junioryear of highschool, and im not stopping there. I want to lose more. I feel it is essential. By the end of summer and junior year begins, I will be 115 if not 110.
3. Along came a spider, that tapped me on the shoulder and whispered, it may be real. My pt yesterday and his wife have been married for 49 years, and were together 11 years prior. I ttook a few seconds and embarassing will power to pick my jaw off the disease infected floor. I asked how they did it, and they just smiled. I dont even really think they know.
4. Classes are bullshit. I cannot wait til summer. I hate it hate it hate it.
5. From here on in, I will act as I have before. No other emotion except excitement. It pains me that I cant start over. I trust no one. I feel like ihave no friends. I dont know, since ive lost weight Ive lost security right along with it. I hope it catches back up soon.
I run now, and It's slightly addicting. My getaway . A task that is challenging and relieving. When Im out there Im alone and thats ok.
I hope that I do not become too comfortable being alone. The silence is comforting and nothing can harm me.
Yikes im being melodramatic. But who can I talk to these days that understands, not many. We all have our own problems that forshadow the next. Everyone's is the worst inthe world. Looking at it from an objective view I would tell myself to get help, or get over it.
I need to work on that.
A lot of truth in what you say. I run too, have since high school and find that I have learned more things about myself while running alone with my own thoughts then any other times in my life. definitely embrace the aloneness. :)
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