taking it stride by stride

Okay so, moments change lives. And with that being said this week has been a string of change and differences.
Went to the Brad Paisley Concert, fabulous. Awesome. More positive adjs to go along with that. Then on tuesday had a reunite girls night. On of my favorite nights, simply because it proved that even though year change along with hair color and personal morals, frienship can reignite if the flame still burns. Reassuring to say the least.
Friday, moved into school. Sunday, ran and completed my first ever 5K (the LIVESTRONG Challenge) It was a beautiful thing. Very inspiring. I learned a lot in those 3.1 miles .
Monday started OL training. Then I had to make an emergency doc appt- which I attended today.
Throw in some paperwork, and phone calls, & that brings me to where I am right now (which is sitting at my desk with a pandora playlist, and starbucks coffee brewing.)

I am not sure what to do at this time. I have been working for the past hour to gather my brain and prioritize some things.

Ah black coffee. How bitter you are.
can always depend on you. Maybe i should snag some sugar in the raw from the cafe. Because yanno I do fork out 8+ grand a year for the slop they call food. Moldy muffins and all. Disgraceful. SO I wont feel the least bit bad for it. Take that Parkhurst!

i love hope.

when your chasing a dream so vague, it can hurt to push forward. failure is imenant and struggle is an absolute companion. but when the glitters of hope fall from opinions of readers,and to know that your work is having an impact, it offers a truly encouraging nudge.

tra la la. im so elated from a total of 3 comments. one was enough to put a smile on my face 3 is magical :D

my soul hurts a little bit. the news that OAR has produced a new song for the new Twilight cd made me legitimatly sad. *sigh* I guess that's what happens when you go mainstream.
"I see we're both crazy that's alright with me I feel home "

also the realization that the 5k is quickyl approaching makes me even MORE nervous and butterflies in the stomach. oy! I hope I can do it...

My favorite moment of the day came when I rolled over this morning, eyes still blurry from sleep, and saw the rain falling outside AND THEN I rolled BACK over snuggled into John's arms and went back to sleep. Beautiful how the little things in life mean the most.


&here's a secret.. I really want to get into photography. but- like writing, I'm afraid to begin for fear of failing. i suppose that's the adventure right? and I need to go for it..right? Right. Now onto the monetary issue.

it's the place you come back to, no matter where you're headed.

/ haitus.

Within the blink of an eye another summer is sizzling to a close. School resumes after one final hell week - which is next week. I decided that it would be a brilliant idea that during the annual PAL camp I am a counsler/organizer for, to pick up shifts at the hospital. Every.Day. then to work the weekend. A hell I created, but isn't that the case most times? The silver lining: beautiful checks and 5days of nothing but sun soaking and packing to follow.

Jeeze. The try and post it note size the things Ive learned this summer could decorate a wall quite nicely.

Plain and simple it's a pain in the ass to try and balance the anticipation to live in a future of your own, and live in the present now; the future of yesterday.

Does it make me a terrible person to not WANT to be a nurse? Go on, scoff and sneeze to the fact that YES I am in nursing school. I'm sorry but when I was little the last dream career on my pig tailed to do list was a nurse. But I'm good at it. &It's practical for this part in my life [something Ive convinced myself, and it's not like it's a terrible occupation!] Another splinter on this wooden bridge is balancing the knowledge and skills harvested in school with a "youre the aide" mentality in my workplace. THAT really grinds my gears.
Something my aunt said to me this week really tag teams this train of thought.."I've always done what I needed to do. [not what I wanted] and look at me. I hate my job, granted it's a very well paying job and im damn good at it, but it's not my passion." Oh balls. Im starting down that path but damnit I wont stay. Nope. Nadda. I want to work with children at CHOP preferrably. That's what Ill do for a few years, where I'm needed and figure out my truuuee calling. Frankly nurses are misreable. I'm not sure whether it's a part of the job description or due to the emotional wear and physical tear of the job. I don't want any of the above negatively playing a part in my life.

Reeling back however I AM 19! I cant have everything figured out, but I would enjoy finding out what my passions are.

Hm on a lighter note: I am participating in the LIVESTRONG 5k; my first! Im real excited, probably going to pass out but it's going to be fun and absolutly for a good cause.

Went on my first ever picnic with a picnic basket today with John. He's the best. Romantic and a pretty good sandwich maker.

While at the park we saw- what I later claimed to be the LoveTree museum- trees with carvings of __ <3's ___. The earliest dates were from the 70's and even 1965! I wonder when the lovebirds carved their names back then that some 30-40 years later, they would still exist. Each etch has a story. Where are they now? Do they still love each other? Are the happy together OR apart or at all? I got pictures.. I'll post them later with another ! random heart I found. Like the earlier random orange peel heart on the side of the road, I found a bark heart beneath a tree, just sitting waiting to be found.

Im learning to relax and pick my own battles. Life is too short, and boy do I know about being short.
I may not have it all together yet but Im working on it, and am pretty damn excited to find out where I go next.