/ haitus.
Within the blink of an eye another summer is sizzling to a close. School resumes after one final hell week - which is next week. I decided that it would be a brilliant idea that during the annual PAL camp I am a counsler/organizer for, to pick up shifts at the hospital. Every.Day. then to work the weekend. A hell I created, but isn't that the case most times? The silver lining: beautiful checks and 5days of nothing but sun soaking and packing to follow.
Jeeze. The try and post it note size the things Ive learned this summer could decorate a wall quite nicely.
Plain and simple it's a pain in the ass to try and balance the anticipation to live in a future of your own, and live in the present now; the future of yesterday.
Does it make me a terrible person to not WANT to be a nurse? Go on, scoff and sneeze to the fact that YES I am in nursing school. I'm sorry but when I was little the last dream career on my pig tailed to do list was a nurse. But I'm good at it. &It's practical for this part in my life [something Ive convinced myself, and it's not like it's a terrible occupation!] Another splinter on this wooden bridge is balancing the knowledge and skills harvested in school with a "youre the aide" mentality in my workplace. THAT really grinds my gears.
Something my aunt said to me this week really tag teams this train of thought.."I've always done what I needed to do. [not what I wanted] and look at me. I hate my job, granted it's a very well paying job and im damn good at it, but it's not my passion." Oh balls. Im starting down that path but damnit I wont stay. Nope. Nadda. I want to work with children at CHOP preferrably. That's what Ill do for a few years, where I'm needed and figure out my truuuee calling. Frankly nurses are misreable. I'm not sure whether it's a part of the job description or due to the emotional wear and physical tear of the job. I don't want any of the above negatively playing a part in my life.
Reeling back however I AM 19! I cant have everything figured out, but I would enjoy finding out what my passions are.
Hm on a lighter note: I am participating in the LIVESTRONG 5k; my first! Im real excited, probably going to pass out but it's going to be fun and absolutly for a good cause.
Went on my first ever picnic with a picnic basket today with John. He's the best. Romantic and a pretty good sandwich maker.
While at the park we saw- what I later claimed to be the LoveTree museum- trees with carvings of __ <3's ___. The earliest dates were from the 70's and even 1965! I wonder when the lovebirds carved their names back then that some 30-40 years later, they would still exist. Each etch has a story. Where are they now? Do they still love each other? Are the happy together OR apart or at all? I got pictures.. I'll post them later with another ! random heart I found. Like the earlier random orange peel heart on the side of the road, I found a bark heart beneath a tree, just sitting waiting to be found.
Im learning to relax and pick my own battles. Life is too short, and boy do I know about being short.
I may not have it all together yet but Im working on it, and am pretty damn excited to find out where I go next.
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