Paint this for me.

A silk rope, for each wrist, each ankle, tightly bond to a respected horse. Any moment the gun will sound and the horses charge in a direction of choice, leaving the scattered remnants of a girl for malicious confetti.

Currently, I am just dangling; and freaking out to say the least.


BUT; I just did really well on an apparent "Readiness Test" .. does this indicate I'm ready?!

There are so many positive and fun things awaiting for me this summer! This cloud, of boards, following me around will NOT rain on my parade.

I do need to pick up more time though and save some money :/

Random kinks in my weeks are preventing me from traveling to certain. Maybe there's a reason for it?

WAH I need to go run. Work off this energy.

I didn't want to jinx it earlier in the week, but if this week is any indication of how this summer will be, I am so thrillleeddd.

The rest of Kaplan week one was a JOKE and a half. So pissed the way it's going. Looks like I'm going to be teaching myself this B.S

In more optimistic news, today I went to the beach with Jules and Nikki. B-E-A-U-T-I-F-U-L day. Couldn't ask for a more perfect beach adventure. However, it went by way too fast, and needs to happen again- with the cheesesteak happy ending.

Currently, I am trying to update my pictures onto facebook. I think I need to make a file on my comp of pictures I want printed, and print them sometime next week.


My mom just told me that stink bugs are the saddest most pathetic creatures ever.

and also just found out that comcast has some voicemail box for our house that uh, has over 400 messages. Going back like 2-3 years. Yeuppp. So apparently all the times people were on the other line, or a message got forwarded it went into this voicemail..and we never knew.

Awesome.

Lost my train of thought be back later.

it's alright.

Home, on the couch. Hello couch.

Day I of Kaplan was this morning. Not as terrible as I so imagined.
Getting up early was a struggle. Ventured with Katherine&BWhales.
I'm dressin all cute, to get ready for our EC Dinner downtown. Very excited.
Tomorrow, Kaplan, then girls night at Christina's NO NURSING ALLOWED
Wednesday Kaplan, then Phillies game at night. Thursday Kaplan. Friday FREE

Relatively busy week.

Graduation was one of the best days I've had in I can't even remember. I was so happy, my family was there.&It was a beautiful day. Grandmom had food after, and it was a splendid
occasion. At night, John and I went to Sugarland.. talked some things out. Still talking things
out. Taking everything day by day.


This post isn't infected with many things but it's enough until my brain and heart are
in sync again.


"People are only as happy as they make up their minds to be."

like the rise and fall of an empire.

and at this moment I want to crawl into a hole, wrap my arms around my legs and wait.

who or what I wait for I don't know. but anything and everything has to be better.


It will get better. When, I'm not sure.

I hear the first time is the worst.

This is our moment here at the crossroads of time.

Sometimes we have to remember, that even the darkest night will end and eventually the sun will rise. My dawn is finally breaking and I'm welcoming the light with sunscreen and sunglasses. After three tretorous years, I have finally completed the ASN program. Saturday, dressed in graduation attire, I will join my classmates in joyous celebration. GODAMN it's well deserved. The semester closed itself very well. I have this buddy Dean, and apparently I'm on his list. The final tally was three A's and a B. SAC is over. SGA ended. MBut where there are endings, a new beginning is waiting to have it's door opened. No more knock knock zoom zoom.

Today was the start of the HESI review. 7 1/2 friggin hours. Terrible. Regardless of the terror, I actually learned something. Let's hope tomorrow will bring such luck. Friday is my retake of tghe Exit Exam; i'm pretty sure I'll make the cut this time.

My room is a war zone. I just can't pack up yet. Literally. I'm kinda waiting for my roommate to leave so I can do it all. Next week is Kaplan and the week following as well. Kevin comes home the 19th ! I mean hopefully I can have my boards passed by then but I doubt it. I need to get crackin on that..

Mother's day was awesome. I had work.. then went and hung out with the grandparents. I learned so much on Sunday it was un-real. I may have different future plans..ie Grad School but we'll see.

Since the strike [which ended] my mom really learned who is who when situations got tight. It's funny, adversity and trouble really brings out the real in a person. Most of the time, people are so phony, I'm not sure if there's an ounce of real left. Shame.

Oh and I have my dream job :D That's right, regardless if I get a nursing job.. I will be working at a coffee shop.

Now, I should go paint my nails. and clean. and *sniff* shower.

should.

/ ps /

Oh and did I mention I'm now President of the Senior Class for 2010-2011 and that I got an 88 on Maternity Final and 93 on Behavioral? No? Oh.. yehh those too.. Life is interesting.

Oh! and my Dad's coming Saturday?

Kev I miss you .. come home.

inhibitions.

fear binds. fear strangles. fear occludes. fear hinders. fear causes, but fear is nothing at all.

turn around.

when you step through doorway, you simultaneously walk away and walk towards. It's up to you to decide which is better.

the reasons we stay.

All the lists, and convictions, and convincing are no longer enough.

ooh, hheeeeyyy may; it's the beginning of the end.

• I am that little ray of sunshine, peeking through the clouds. I am the lady bug in a sea of flies. I am an ounce of excitement, in a room of nursing students.

It is May, it is TIME. Gah. Anxiety soon, and it will rest in its comfort in the pit of my stomach. Goal grade for the Nursing Final tomorrow: 85.

• The sun is creeping out. I cannot stand this humidity, but the pending summer is nice. SAC is done. &the chorus sings. On to .. other? things.

Oh you know what grinds my gears? The flipping of the flip flops, on the ground, that flipandflop and flip up dirt and flop it on the back of your legs. No sir I did not shit myself, it was mother nature laughing at me. ha.

• I finally bought aviators, and new BIGASS sunglasses for the summer. Relaxation on the horizon.

That's what I'm telling myself repeatedly; eyes on the horizoneyes onthe horizon.

• I enjoy my friends. My actual friends. The ones that love me for me. I avoid the ones less fortunate, and keep my peripherals clear of their existence. Why be annoyed?

I kinda want a grapefruit.

Tonight there is going to be some severe buckling down.

Anxiety rising already.

eyes on the horizoneyes on the horizoneyes on the horizoneyes on the horizon