frigid, frick and frack.

I can barely feel my finger tips, but the flame that is burning- fueled by anger and passion - is allowing these little nibblets to type.

Currently, I am savoring my 45min break then continuing through the 8hour lecture and such. Sushi, diet iced tea, yellow-pod, and silence. Relaxing. tick tock. Love.

Gustav is ohkay. I may come here more often during my lunch breaks monday and friday just because I need to seperate from a certain individual. Being attached to someone almost every second, is becoming like that of a swooshing hot wheels car up and down my spine. irritating and painful.

...

I now want to go primal and claw some faces.
Damn. I really need to get my red friend. But really why am I making excuses. Emotions are real, and I'm really feeling a concotions of them right now.


Breathe in&out..... &go.

the have to's, want to's and must's

"want" is simply something that a person would like to have. Want to would be if the party in question is somthing to which would fancy your interest.

"Have to" is used to express certainty, necessity, and obligation.

Need To:
A need is something that is necessary for humans to live a healthy life. Needs are distinguished from wants because a deficiency would cause a clear negative outcome, such as dysfunction or death

Must:
1 a : be commanded or requested to b : be urged to : ought by all means to
2 : be compelled by physical necessity to : be required by immediate or future need or purpose to
[etc etc]



Remember these when someone tells you , you have to do somthing. or you need to.

From Now On

I will try my bestttt to not text others while hanging out with people
unless of course the need calls.

look at me! I'm following the crowd!

Just kidding. You don't hear me baaa'ing do you? Nah, not so much. I don't try very hard to be unconventional, it just happens that way.

I love love second chances. I have been given a second shot for the 10th time. While trying very very hard to avoid repeating mistakes, I am armed with lbs of bandaids, and repairing the bridges I singed in highschool. That letter I sent to You, a few days ago. Thank you.

I must live in the now, and enjoy where I'm at, and who I am with. Despite my best intentions I have a knack for looking forward to things and forget where/what/who I am. Bad Bridget. Luckily, I don't have much fun things to look forward to - except seeing my friends I mish at school, and graduation part 1. in may.

There is a lot to look forward to actually. Hmph. Ijust need to survive and push through this semester. I need to accomplish somthing. I need to. MUST. For my own mental stability.

Grad School packets are filing in. I have been sending requests and get a giddy feeling when they arrive. They are ACTUALLY hand signed by the Dean's. Feels a tad more personal than the undergrad process.

Problem: I don't know what I want to go for!
I do know I want to work at a pet store and starbucks. [In combo with my RN of course..]

I would like to thank Rob. You my friend are my reassuring dosage to life and chaos. Our date came at the perfect time. Oh and I want to be latino because of In the Heights.

Think of me, as I am always thinking of you <3

floating along like a bay breeze.

Hmm. So hunger has been absent. Weird.
Kinda wnat a cheesesteak though.
and a nice beverage.

Mind absent as well.

blank.

Today I will conqueur my world. Sadly I will not be able to do it with my partner Il CoffAY; due to a lack of working coffee machine. Boo. Instead I will cave and have some tea *pinky out of course*. Today has already started off well! I have yet to pee, and I started doing wash, and walked the dog. My brain has yet to catch up.

ONWARD!

Dear

You,
Facebook keeps insisting that I make contact with you via message, wallpost, inbox, or what have you. I'm sorry but I cannot give into the peer pressure, despite its repeated attempts. Althought I have contemplated meeting you-a stranger to my present-in person, I cannot stomache the thought, yet. Your friend, and my acquaintance have discussed the idea, but he is right. I know myself, and I feel too guilty even after all this time. Maybe Soon, once friend. Maybe Soon we can try again. Maybe.
Yours,

They actually loved me.

OOh my my my my my my my. Today I decided to throw out things. Such things included old old notes, and drawings, and books and crap just laying around. I would need a week maybe even a month to go through EVERYTHING..but today was ohkay.

I found, love letters of sorts. They were actually notes, but their content made my jaw drop. I remember getting these notes. These authors, actually loved me, in highschool before I was 16. Whaaaaattt. Yeah. Strange. At the time I had no idea, and I wound up with, mm neither of them.
But I do remember. A knot in my stomach unleashed and I remember what it was like. The pure bliss. Very young adult fiction novel feelings.

my kidneys are DEFINITLY working.

Diner's are the best. Especially because they supply free/endless refills of coffee and water. Add some french onion soup fruit cocktail and a couple of friends then you have my night in a nutshell. It was fabulous. The Dining Car, a classic 24/7 diner, was a time warp where Lauren Brian and myself caught up on everything in life at the moment, and ended it with a rockout.

I'm slightly nauseous. Yeh I know, typical. Not quite sure it it's the mounds of coffee and water, or the thought of dipping into the past and dragging some things to the present. Maybe a mixture of both.

Thanks Taylor Swift for writing 15 and stirring thoughts and forcing me to bring up things that matter, to me. I started off the new year nervous, for what I couldn't tell ya. I just know I'm taking baby steps and taking risks, and I wanna projectile vomit everywhere. However, I doubt french onion tastes the same the second time around.

I feel inspired and uninspired at the same time. I thought last year was a limbo, but DAMN. I feel stuck in a purgatory. It's like im reaching towards the future, but my stubby arms are just to short and when I tippy toe to reach, it fades away. Again, and again. My dreams are NOT helping. I am just so un sure about absolutly everything. Like I realized tonight however, in 5 years, this nausea and worry will.not.matter. Just the things I did that will lead me to where I will be. Am I making the right choices?

I'm taking leaps but will not dare speak of them right now. Because I might jinx it.
Supersitious? You Betcha.