In order to put things in order, in any sense, would take days of writing and hours of wasted typing. Like the last entry I must spark note. Each day has been an adventure all on it's own, filled with continuous thoughts and recalcuations and nausea day in and day out. Please don't read this terrible because it's not! things just have been .... well .... it just has been.
Ah yes, two weeks. In two weeks, I have gone from sure, to unsure over and over, while battling the cloud of bo..i won't finish the word. I take them in a mere few weeks. Maybe just maybe after I take them, pass or fail, things will find a way of working out. I always have this sincere hope that situations will just work out, without any life altering decisions on my part. The reality of it is, that's not true and I need to really figure things out. I just dont have the time or emotional capacity at this moment.
Logic vs. Emotion vs. Reality. Zero of these competitors sit harmoniously at the dinner table. Luckily im nauseous all the time and not really hungry enough to eat. Please excuse me I need to study *walks away from table*
Today I will be studying. SHOCK! Then working DOUBLE SHOCK! But it's ok. I need this. It will be ok it will be ok.
Positives from the last two weeks:
Kellys was a success <3 So much fun. New games, new friends. Food was delicious. Drinks were sweet. Classic night.
Nifties & hangout time with some favorites it is difficult to see.
Watching John play Baseball and have fun
Coffee / life talks, and breakfast (NOTadate), and tangant conversations with a friend.
Graduation parties, in rainstorms.
Country concerts where the music literally takes control and you lose yourself in the sound and alochol. &Free drinks.
Bonfires.Late night swims.
OL Weekend: new people, same BS, laced with laughs
Brad Paisley. (needs no further description)
My brother is home for 3weeks.
It's been an awesome summer so far my gosh I hope it continues.
On this really high light note.. I'm gonna go. just because. good karma and all that.
You only get one chance. You have one journey through life; you cannot repeat even one moment or retrace one footstep. It seems that we are meant to inhabit and live everything that comes toward us.
John O’Donohue
love.
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