When I get anxious, or nervous, feel awkward, or uncomfortable I either laugh, or hold my breath. It's funny because I don't realize I'm holding my breath until I take a gnarly gasp, get dizzy or realize HOLY CRAP my lips are blue.
I know I wouldn't wanna be challenged in an underwater breath holding contest :).
Yesterday, I went shopping and I say it was successful. Very cute purchases including 2 dresses, new jean shorts, nice tops, 4 pairs of flips flops [Old Navy of course!] and a few other items. I'm still working on toning but my God, I am proud. I bought my shorts and they were a size 1. Now they're from Charlotte Russe so idk how accurate it is. I know I've lost more weight since even this weekend [I think I just worked off the beer ;) ] . I'm running everyday and doing abs now inbetween studying for boards. It's a nice trade off. Do I like spending my days doing questions and sweating.. meh. I actually look tan (!) and wanna keep up on that.
Tomorrow, is the XTU Anniversay Concert. AH! Im so so so excited. John will pick me up after he gets home from AC, and we should be on our way. I think tomorrow's drink of choice will be Landshark.
So, inbetween the studying, cleaning, running, and other boring summer nonsense that needs to be accomplished, I've been thinking. Hard. About A LOT. I have a secret, and idk if it's because I'm spending time on it or if I'm convincing myself or if I'm just growing up .. but.. [gnarly gasp] I wanna get married. Plain and simple. Yes, BridgetDwyer wants to get married. I've found myself getting giggly and smiling at the thought of starting a new life, with someone. It's a refreshing start and who says the fun things need to end?
There was this little maxim I took to heart a few years ago and forgot about. I'm glad to resurface it: The funny thing no one ever told me was that you CAN have it all.
So do I mention this to anyone in particular? I'm not sure. Maybe I should.... and see what happens. Because if it comes down to it, I will be on the look for someone to spend the rest of my life with.
Goodbye bad girlfriend.Good bye Bitchy Bridget [except for on occasion -everyone is entitled to bad days!]. Goodbye being afraid of losing. Goodbye being afraid in general. Goodbye what ifs, and hopefuls.
I was told I either give up or win. Granted, the truth is I hate losing.. but I am not backing down. I feel like im in the fight of my life. *cracking of the knuckles* Bring it.
Who am I fighting... right now I'm pretty sure it's my own thoughts, and few externals.
Regardless, I will win.
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