Once again, I'm sitting on my floor, in Alex 102; desk piled high and bed just as tossed about. I keep writing blog entries, then deleting them. It's not that I care it's just..what am I trying to prove and to who..when it doesn't matter, and I don't want to relive it.
I cannot believe it's only been about a week back at school. So much in such a short amount of time! The crucial elements of change are worth more than I can say. The truth is a beautiful thing. The internal colors of people have been spilt. You can constantly be surprised by people; not only in a negative light. It's been said that in the darkest of times you will be shown the light. My light resides in my friends; my real true friends, and ones I didn't know I had. I am so grateful for them; they know who they are and I love you.(&If you don't know if it's you.. it probably is <3 ) Even though the wounds are a nice way away from healing, I would not have been able to make it even this far without you. Thank you is never, and will never be, enough.
So despite the nonsense .. which really after the dust settles and you really look at it, is what it's turning into..a buncha nonsense...life has been goddamn awesome.
I got my driver's license.
I have a nursing job.
I got a call to apply for another nursing job.
My insurance came in for nursing.
I will be getting a car in the next few weeks [pending on numbers..HATE math].
I am taking massive strides forward. As much as I want to look back, I shouldn't.
I know he doesn't read this, but Thank you John. You saved me 3years ago, and you did it again. This all was the push I needed to realize that I am as strong willed as I thought, never to doubt my intuition, keep busting my ass, and it's ok to change. I will not stay stagnant. Maybe one day I'll be able to thank him myself.
Until then I have me, my friends, my family, some good wine and books, tea, coffee and music; and that's all I'll ever need.
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