14 February 2011

things ill never tell you.

This has been a great day so far.
Homeless shelter volunteering, thinking, train rides, parading around downtown, cart cheesesteaks and chocolate chip cookies.

 By accident, purely by accident- I referred to him as my boyfriend. Twice. Only twice, but within a short amount of time apart this past week. Stupid self. You're not together. No matter what we do or say or act or feel. Feel..what do I feel?

Nothing. I don't feel anything. I'm not numb, nor sad, nor happy. Confused? Masking? Maybe.

Even on this day can love be enough?
Fairytales say yes. Reality says no.

I woke up happy. I been dancing around happy. No faking. No pretending.
Then why did I just get so sad?

First test tonight, then homework. Maybe I'll nap it away.

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