scattered but serene.

February. Feb. rue. air. ee.

My little ball of energy-ness is back. I bounce more- even though I'm advised to keep from doing so for the ceiling gets closer everytime. I'm finding my feet. It's quite difficult to move on, and forward when you are lacking feet. The ground has been patched, and the bumpers are lining the road. I tried to run miles and get past the pain, but you can't rush things like that; you have to go through. I have a tendancy to try and skip steps and rush but I have to remember the one word I HATEHATEHATE: patience. Maybe one day Patience and I will be amiable partners in crime. I'm abiding by its rules, and so far.. things are ok. I'm far from the end, but I can see the light. And it's beautiful.

This week I will be thrust back to the days where I bargain for sleep between bites of cereal. It's ok. At least it'll make the days go by.

A recurring phrase I've heard is how I need to "give [my]self more credit."  I have to work on my self esteem and self assurance. I can't beat myself up over things I cannot control, and I'm learning how to stop doing that. Slowly.

I can honestly say I unconditionally love my friends. You have helped me and yelled at me and told me straight up to stop, no, youre going to be ok and of course have been there with Doritos, chocolate and other comfort foods. That's just an inch of superficial things. I have my Valentines for Singles Awareness Day.

Does that make me a polygimist?